Hey Moms- Keep Going!
This one goes out to all those moms out there trying to wade through these strange times with our children. I just wanted to say that I see you, I hear you, I am you, and it got me thinking…
Do you remember what the first few weeks and months of motherhood were like? Or perhaps, like me, you can remember what it was like when you first left work to stay home with your kids?
I hold onto those times in my life with great detail in my mind. Probably because they held a yo-yo of emotions and because most of the time, I wasn’t sure if I was doing any of it the right way. There was no real feedback on how to do any of it!
These past few weeks I kept coming back to that same feeling. The newness of being at home with my family 24/7 feels so similar to how it felt when I jumped out of the workforce.
I worked in advertising and I loved it. It was absolutely crazy almost always, but I fed off the energy and pace of it all. On any given day, we were given feedback good, bad and sometimes ugly. If it wasn’t a client telling us to go back to the drawing board, it was a boss telling you all the ways in which you missed the mark. On the flip side, when we got it right, it was like winning the lotto and we celebrated accordingly. Feedback was a constant companion.
Then I left, which was hard enough, but I didn’t realize that the silence that followed would be even harder. After years of the clatter of feedback in my day to day life, everything went silent.
What I missed was a voice that said, “try it this way,” or “good job, keep going.”
And these past few weeks, especially as I hear from other moms with smaller children than mine, it brought me back to those early days at home with little ones.
How do we get through these long days with no one telling us how to do it or giving us any feedback? How do we not let any crazy expectations sneak in and make us feel less than?
I wish I had a magic answer for it all, I don’t, but what I do have are two things that I learned all those years ago that I think apply today as well.
1. YOU ARE DOING GREAT – KEEP GOING! That’s it. Just know that perfect doesn’t exist and you are not in this boat alone. Keep rowing. You are loved for who you are and what is in your heart and soul. This remains true whether or not you can figure out your kid’s math, or if you stay in your PJs all day. If you need a boost, call a friend, email me, find community that reflects back to you that you are doing great just by loving those around you. Period.
2. BE STILL – I had to learn this the hard way when my girls were little, and now I remind myself every day again. Take a break and show yourself some compassion. Be still and listen to the voice of God’s love inside you and know that this is the only feedback you really need. By giving ourselves some time to be quiet and get in touch with what matters most, we can fill-up and be present for the ups and downs in front of us each day. There is no roadmap for any of this, but there is something better than that when we let it in. Fill-up by giving yourself the time to be still and listen to the whispers placed in your heart.
Let’s come together in the days and weeks ahead by encouraging each other to take the time to remember we are loved no matter what, and that the only feedback we really need is in our hearts.