The Dog Might Just Be Houdini
I was recently scrolling through my Facebook feed and stopped when I came across a new post featuring an enormous, fluffy dog (because who doesn’t stop to look at dog pics online!?). A friend had posted the photo of this magnificent creature wandering the neighborhood solo style and was hoping to find its owner. The post blew up with information, and in short order, the dog had been returned to its owner.
I love these stories! The high of knowing the dog was home cozied up with its people, a sad encounter sidelined because everyone pulled together, it is the best part of social media for me.
Sadly, the low part of social media also reared its head. Strangers were quick to post their assumptions that this dog must live at home with little supervision. They commented on how the owners must not pay attention to it when it’s outside. They reprimanded the unknown family for negligence. They made accusations about electric fences and dead batteries, physical fences with holes, or kids leaving gate doors open. With no room given for the unknown circumstances of this dog’s walk-about, they judged.
Could it be that this dog just operates like Houdini? Maybe its owners are at their wit’s end trying to keep it safe?
I recently thought a bear was strolling through my yard (which is highly unlikely given where I live...and also slightly terrifying) until I realized it was my neighbor’s Bernese mountain dog visiting. You know how huge those dogs are right? And somehow this guy managed to wriggle under his fence and come for a visit. This dog is well-loved and well -cared for...it just happens. Life often just happens.
I couldn’t shake the annoyed feeling I had with the quick and rash judgments on that post and then I realized it was because it represented a habit we all need to kick. In fact, at that moment, I was doing the same thing, I was judging the judgers.
On any given day, each of us is working through our own stuff.
Some of it good, some of it hard. It is impossible to know what is rummaging around in someone’s head when you bump into them in the grocery store. And yet, so much of the time, we place judgment on them for their behavior at that moment, instead of just seeing them.
Think about what our days would look like if we all stopped judging each other and instead just saw each other.
I have found that when I strip down the need to categorize and judge I give myself space to truly see the humanity in everyone. And that changes everything. We don’t always know what the people around us are going through, but we do know God loves them just as God loves us.
That should be enough to stop judging and simply see each other as worthy of more.
When the Mom at CVS has a toddler rolling around on the floor screaming, before being quick to condemn her to the sentence of “bad” mom, consider all that could have led up to that moment. When the man in front of you in line at the hardware store takes forever to buy a few lightbulbs, imagine what the outing might be like for him. Moments like this sneak up, and then there we are, gavel in hand, assuming we know better.
What would it look like if we all changed our patterns and gave each other the space to be seen simply as one who is loved? How would it feel if we aim to see each other as fellow travelers simply doing our best, instead of judging?
Let’s start a new habit today.
SEE the people around us - ALL of them – as we hope they SEE us.
Lean into this view of the golden rule like we mean it, because the truth is, it really is the only rule that matters. The rest is judgment that we could all do without!